Biopsy

So, I just found out about a week ago that I need to go in for a biopsy to check out an irregularity on my mammogram.  I know that tons of women have to go through this in their lifetime and I know that many women I know have already been through one.  Some have received good news, but some have not.  I am very hopeful that I will be in the first category.

When we go through these types of things in our lives, our belief system is challenged.  Not what we say to someone else who may be going through the same thing, but what we say to ourselves.  That deep down belief system - the unshakable one.  I believe in God.  I know He is good (don't I?)  I know that He will not give me more than I can handle (but how does he know what my limit is?)  So the questions start surfacing and my belief system is put to the test.

I sat in front of a pastor's wife this morning in church who has been going through chemotherapy and radiation for the past 6 months after being diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma.  She had very fine hair growing back under a cute black hat she was wearing.  She walked forward at the end of the service and her husband prayed for her as she sobbed - I'm sure sick and weary from all the treatments and fears she has been enduring these past months.  She has a teenage daughter and little 2 year old boy that they adopted.  I spoke to her after the service and she had such a vulnerable look in her eyes.  I know her belief system is being challenged right now too.

As I talked to her and looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but wondering if I would have the strength to endure what she is going through right now.  It all sounds so - - romantic? heroic? - - when the stories are told, but the reality is more - - terrifying,  grueling.  When you see the Facebook posts, read the blogs or watch the movies, it all seems strangely wonderful.  When you are living it, it all seems too hard.

So tomorrow morning I go in for the procedure and then I wait.  The nurse told me that if the news is good, I will hear nothing before the appointment day (10 long days later) - but if the news is bad, the doctor will call so I can bring someone with me to help me process what comes next.  The doctor told me that it doesn't look like cancer, but they have to do the biopsy to 'prove it.'  I'm thankful for that word of encouragement.

I always hesitate to post these very personal things - I am a pretty private person for the most part.  I haven't shared this with many people.  I just know that sometimes we need to share - sometimes we need other people to know what we are going through - sometimes we need support and prayer.  I also know that sometimes others need to hear our stories because they are going through something or have gone through something too and they need to know that they are not alone.  So I guess I needed to share for my sake and maybe for yours too.


2 Cor. 1 (Praise to the God of All Comfort)
³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.