Life sucks and then you die . . .

What an encouraging phrase: "Life sucks and then you die."  Do you believe this?  No, of course not - it's so negative, right?  Well I have to be honest with you.  Sometimes I have to fight against believing this. Life does sometimes feel quite "sucky."  Sometimes it feels like one hard issue after another that we are dealing with or maybe it's one ongoing life-long struggle.  It's hard.  It's not fun.  Life is certainly not a bowl of cherries.  We seem to catch a break one day and then the next - wam! - we're blindsided by an unexpected problem.  So how do we not believe that life sucks and then you die on those depressing days when it feels so true?  Well how do you fight against any lie? - with the truth.  The only truth that I know I've found in the pages of my Bible.  So I flip through it pages that have been stored in my mind over my lifetime and I repeat the truths to myself.  "I have come to give you life and life abundant" Jesus said.  "I know the plans I have for you - plans to prosper and not to harm you" the Lord declares.  "In this world you will have trouble, but don't be afraid because I have overcome the world." Jesus tells us.  Paul tells us that "All things work out for our good if we love the Lord."  I hang on to those truths like a cat hanging onto a log as it is getting washed down stream.  I am not letting go - no matter what!

Life is hard - yes that's true, but it does not suck!  Your physical body will die - that is also true, but we have eternal Life if we know the Lord!  Today I am struggling with something pretty tough for me and my temptation is to believe the lie, but I refuse because it's simply not true.

So my simple thought for the day is this.  No matter how bad life looks through our eyes today - God has a plan & a purpose for our Good in all of it.  We just need to rest in that truth, regardless of how it feels. 

Hanging on to my log with all claws dug in . . . hopefully the "ride" is over soon.

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. "

Romans 8:28 (The Message) ^26-28

The Widow's Mite

There's a story in the Bible about the poor widow who gave her last few mites (cents) at the temple.  Jesus, as usual, had a very different perspective of what she was giving.  This is a poem I wrote when thinking about that story. 

The Widow's Mite

I don't have much to give,
Not enough to even live.
Others I see have so much;
Houses, land, clothing & such

You're asking me to give it all,
But two mites just seems so small.
Yet here I come with mites in hand,
I bring it now - then stop and stand.

I look around at those giving more,
I turn around and head for the door.
My mites don't matter, I'll just go,
But as I turn to leave, You said No.

Turn around child and take it back,
They give from their wealth, you give from your lack.
When you give your mites, you give your all.
To me what they give looks very, very small.

So go back child, drop in your mites,
For what you give me is great in my sight.
I will take what is small and make it great,
Now humbly walk front & drop it in the plate.

Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, "The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all!"    Luke 21:1-4 

Is it really spring?

I live in Eastern Pennsylvania and this year Spring is being very shy.  It seems to poke it's head up for a day or two and then vanish.  Maybe it is teasing us or maybe it is just shy.  I've enjoyed watching the flowers poke up through the ground.  I have some baby daffodils blooming in my front flower garden that seem to be laughing at the cold.  "We don't care if it is freezing outside - we are still here and that means it is spring!"  Flowers are stubborn that way - they come up when they are supposed to and the winter type weather doesn't seem to deter them at all.  They even were covered in snow just a few days ago.

Nature is funny that way.  Regardless of what our bodies tell us when we walk out the door in the morning - it is freezing cold, it must be winter - the truth is that it is spring.  We can't argue with it when we see the robins flying all around and the flowers pushing up through the ground.  We can deny it all we want - but the truth is evident.  It may be cold, but spring is here to stay!

Life is often like this too.  Things have been cold & dead for awhile.  A relationship has been lost, a child has been sick, a job has been difficult - but things begin to change.  New life begins to poke up around us.  God begins to restore that relationship, you see evidence of healing in your child, things begin to change at work - it gets gradually better.  It is spring!  Oh, but sometimes it only lasts a day or two and then the old, cold, dead wintry feeling returns and we think - no it is still winter.  NO!  Look at the evidence.  There is new life and change all around you.  It IS spring.  We are still going to have the cold feeling days that try to trick us into thinking otherwise, but that is not true.  Irregardless of what we feel like, the truth of a new season in life can't be denied.  I know that emotions are very fickle and often change on a dime.  I need to look for the evidence around me to realize the truth.  The little baby daffodils in the front flower garden may not be much, but they wouldn't be there if it wasn't spring.

So, let's put aside what we feel like and just accept the truth.  If we go outside and it feels like winter - who cares.  It is still spring and the warm weather and the beautiful flowers of spring are just around the corner.  If we wake up and we feel like nothing in our life is changing for the better - who cares.  That's not the truth.  The truth is that there is evidence all around us saying otherwise.  Day by day things will grow better & be more beautiful. 

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free!"

Function vs. Title

Day 3 - The wisdom of SpongeBob SquarePants.

Employee of the Month

In this episode SpongeBob is happily going along month after month (26 to be exact) getting the Employee of the Month award.  This if a funny award for several reasons.  The first is that SpongeBob is a very dedicated worker and really has no need of an award to make him give his best.  The second is that there really is no competition for the award each month because the only other employee, Squidward, is a negative slacker who only shows up each day because he wants the money.  However, this all changes one month when Squidward points out to SpongeBob that the award is really bogus and anyone could get this award - even Squidward.  Well, SpongeBob takes this as a challenge and a heated competition begins between the only two employees of the Krusty Krab.  Squidward changes his negative slacker ways and becomes a very dedicated employee for the sole purpose of showing SpongeBob that he is equally capable of earning the coveted Employee of the Month award.  Things get so out of hand between the two that eventually they are striving to be the first one to work the next day.  They both try to outdo each other to get there the earliest by sabotaging each other to wake up late.  Finally they both head off to work at the same exact time and race frantically to be the first employee at  the Krusty Krab that morning.   They both arrive at the same time, the exact time that Mr. Krabs opens the doors. They both rush in and begin working frantically at various tasks, but they do more harm than good in the process.  Then they start trying to make as many Krabby Patties as possible, until their frantic attempt to outdo each other causes the whole restaurant to explode.  Finally, with Krabby Patties falling from the sky they both turn to Mr. Krabs and earnestly ask him who the Employee of the Month is.

I like this episode because it shows us how desperate SpongeBob became to keep a title.  SpongeBob had become so comfortable being Employee of the Month that he just expected to get it month, after month, after month, after month . . . So when his title was challenged he just freaked out.  He couldn't handle not being Employee of the Month - that was his title.  That was his identity.  He changed from being a dedicated employee, naturally, to being a crazy lunatic of an employee that actually caused the destruction of the very thing he loved - his beloved Krusty Krab.  So instead of just doing what he usually did -be an awesome and overly dedicated employee - he completely blew it.

What can I say?  This one gets all of us at some time in our life.  We find something that we are really good at and do well naturally - being a mom, a secretary, a musician, an employee, you fill in the blank.  We want to do it.  We enjoy doing it.  We give our all to do it well because we love to.  At some point we switch this from a function of what we do well to a title of who we are.  I am a good mom.  I am an awesome secretary.  I am a talented musician.  It becomes our identity (our title) rather than just a function.  That's when it becomes tricky.  All of a sudden it feels more like a competition.  Is that woman a better mom than I am?  Is that girl a better secretary?  Is that musician more talented?  It touches a nerve and we react - sometimes frantically - to keep our title.  Well, if I just do this and this and this then I will be the better mom, secretary, musician.  We become insecure in who we are.  The reality is that we haven't changed, just our perspective has.  We actually become worse at what we do, rather than better.  It is no longer natural and easy and something we want to do, but it becomes a hard task and we can't relax and enjoy it anymore (which is really what makes us good at it.)  Eventually, if we can keep up the pace we get so driven in our attempts to be the best mom, secretary, musician or employee that we actually become bad at it.  That's when we've blown it.  We can't make a mistake.  We can't relax.  We can't loose our title - it feels like it will kill us if we do.  We're stuck.  So we need to go back to square one - remember why we are doing what we do.  Why are you a mom - so you can get the "Best Mom Ever" award - or just because you simply love being a mom.  Why are you a secretary - so everyone will kiss your feet when they walk into the office - or just because you enjoy it and taking care of all the details just comes naturally to you.  Why are you a musician - so everyone will sing your praises - or just because you feel alive when you play and sing?  I've learned this the hard way - more than once.   I've learned not to get trapped in the desire for a title.  I've learned to be good at what I do, just because I enjoy it.  That is the only way that we can truly be the best at what we do - by doing it naturally well.

If you are feeling stressed at having to be the best at something in your life - you might want to check out why.  If it something that you used to truly enjoy, then maybe you have made it your title, instead of simply a function that you are good at.  Go back to square one and just relax.  Learn how to simply enjoy it.  It may surprise you how easy it is for you to be good at it without even trying!

Ever been tempted to play "hooky"?

"Hooky"

That is the name of the next SpongeBob SquarePants episode I will share with you this week.

SpongeBob lives in a Pineapple under the sea, right?  So the whole show takes place under water.  At some point there is bound to be a fishing hook that comes into play.  Well, in this episode SpongeBob and Patrick come across these hooks that they consider to be a carnival ride.  They eventually decide this the funnest ride ever.  They grab onto them and as soon as they do, the hook pulls them rapidly upwards.  At just the right moment they leave go and float back down to the bottom of the sea.  They are having a blast, oblivious to the dangers of getting caught on the hook and yanked out of the water by the fishermen.  Well, finally they are warned about the perils of playing "hooky" and are told to never go near the hooks again.  Of course, by this time they are addicted to the thrill of riding the hooks.  They try their best to avoid the temptation, but alas they cannot.  So, unbeknownst to the two dare-devils, a plan is hatched by their friends to cure them of their antics.  SpongeBob is lured by a hook which is actually controlled by Squidward.  His square pants get caught on the hook and he can't get off.  He runs frantically to the Crusty Crab for help.  Mr. Crabs is there as well as his daughter Pearl and her friends who are watching the whole thing.  Eventually SpongeBob has to take off his square pants in front of everyone to escape from the hook.  Everyone laughs at him.  He is mortified and forever cured of playing "hooky."

Have you ever been like SpongeBob - lured by the fun, yet potentially dangerous things around us?  It goes like this:  It looks fun.  It IS fun.  Let's do it again!  At some point it becomes apparent to us that it probably isn't the safest thing for us - but we do it again anyway.  One day though we get hooked and we know that we've gone too far.  We've tried it once too many times and we panic.  We can either keep our mouth shut and get reeled in or we can run screaming for help to our friends or family.  Yes, it may be embarrassing when they learn the naked truth - but at least we will be saved and probably cured of whatever dangerous addiction we have been playing with.

Life according to SpongeBob . . .

I used to think that SpongeBob SquarePants was the stupidest show ever - until I had kids that started to watch it.  I was amazed at the wisdom that show sometimes has.  Yes, some episodes I still find very annoying - but I often find myself surprised at the truths I find hidden in this silly cartoon.  So, this week I am going to do life according to SpongeBob.  Here goes . . .

One of my favorite episodes centers mostly on Squidward.  Now if you remember, Squidward is a very stuck-up sort that finds SpongeBob and Patrick to be extremely immature and annoying.  They are happily oblivious to this and continue to invite him to be their friend and join them on their super fun adventures like bubble-blowing, jelly fishing and using their imagina- a-ations to turn a cardboard box into just about anything (a race car, a rocket ship, you name it.)  So in this particular episode Squidward gets completely fed up with the two simpletons (again) after they have managed to destroy his house with their reef blowing antics.  He decides to move "so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would rather tear out my brain stem, carry it to the middle of the nearest four-way intersection, and skip rope with it than go on living where I do now."  So he moves into a community called Tentacle Acres.  This community is gated and secured from any non-desirables.  Initially Squidward thinks he has died and gone to heaven.  Everyone there is a Squid - just like him.  They all love to do exactly what he does.  They all have the same sarcastic humor that he does.  They all are highly intelligent like he believes he is.  He has a daily schedule that includes all of his favorite activities.  He goes to dance lessons, rides his bike around town, joins a group where he can play his clarinet - scene after scene shows him going to all of his favorite activities day after day with Squids who think and act and laugh just like him.  It is wonderful! - for awhile.  At a certain point you can see his attitude changing about this supposed utopia.  He begins to get frustrated with everyone being just like him and he begins to push the boundaries a bit.  He becomes increasingly frustrated with everyone and everything being the same.  Finally, one day he is out at a nearby park and sees an unattended reef blower.  You can see him contemplating what he would like to do with it.  Finally he grabs the reef blower and begins using it, but then he starts to get creative with it until finally he just goes crazy with it until he is laughing hysterically at the fun he is having.  The other squids become extremely annoyed and aggravated with him and finally form an angry mob to chase him down.  In the last scene of the show you see Squidward being corned by this mob of near-identical squidwards.   SpongeBob and Patrick, who have come to look for Squidward and ask him to move back home are watching this craziness.  They look at each other and SpongeBob says "Well, we know one thing: it sure isn't that guy!"

I think I love this episode because I can identify with Squidward so often.  There are people all around me who just push my buttons.  They don't see life the way I do and they can often be quite aggravating.  They are the SpongeBobs and Patricks in my Squidward world.  I have this place inside of me that dreams of a similar utopia to the one that Squidward went to.  I think that a place where everyone thought and acted and enjoyed the same exact things that I do would be wonderful.  We would all stay up late being creative together and then sleep-in in the mornings, get up and have a leisurely cup of tea.  We would all be laid back and easy-going, seeing life as mysterious and wonderful.  We would all have that dry but hilarious sense of humor that I love.  I could see me going to a music practice with other passionate musicians and constantly talking about deep and inspiring topics.  It would be wonderful! - for awhile.  I think I would get very bored with this at some point though and I would need to push the boundaries a bit and be an individual.  I couldn't stand being just like everyone else - I have to be different, even if it means going against what I would normally do.  I would probably end up being just like Squidward and going a bit insane and being kicked out of my perfect community.

I guess the wisdom for me in this episode is this:  Be content with where you are in life.  Be patient with the SpongeBobs and Patricks in life and maybe even appreciate where they are coming from.  Sometimes the simpler view of life is better.  It doesn't always have to be serious and deep and complicated.  Lighten up and learn to enjoy life.  Stay away from people that are too much like you - they don't help you grow or learn.  They don't stretch you.  They just keep you stuck in your sameness.  Learn how to be a little weird and make people give you funny looks every once in awhile and if you happen to get thrown out of a seemingly perfect community of people consider it a blessing and a new lease on life.  Embrace diversity and learn from all the unique and yes sometimes annoying people who often drive you crazy.  If nothing else, they will teach you patience.

There is a friend . . .

Once someone asked in a Bible Study I was attending if God was our friend.  My immediate reaction was "no."  I had been raised to see God as holy and far above us - which He is.  I hadn't been taught about His kindness and love for us though - so I pretty much thought He was too good to be friends with the likes of me.  I was wrong.  He wanted to be my friend.  He wanted to share all of life with me - just like a good friend would.  Since that time I have become close friends with God and it has been the most important friendship in my life.

God says that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother - that friend is Him!  I know that you might have a different perspective of God than this.  If you were like me, raised to see God as a harsh authority figure - seeing Him as a friend will be a huge stretch.  If you have been raised to think that God may or may not exist - then to consider the reality of His friendship may be almost impossible for you.  I just know that for me - calling God my friend is amazing and wonderful.  I know that I can't see Him or touch Him.  I know that having a friendship with  someone under these circumstances has it's challenges.  I know that I often struggle with knowing how to maintain such a friendship.  I was out on a walk just today discussing this with Him and asking Him to help me with these things.  It isn't always easy, but it is so worth it.

You see, God is my best friend.  He knows everything about me - even things I don't know about myself.  He says that He even knows the number of hairs on my head.  He knew me before I was even born and He has every day of my life written in His journal.  He has been taking care of me since the first day I was conceived and since the first breath I breathed on my own.  He has protected me and kept me safe.  I have come to trust Him with my deepest hurts and strongest desires.  He has counseled me and comforted me when no one else could.  He has loved me even when I didn't care about Him at all.  He loves me even when I am not lovable.  He has been faithful to me.  He has shown me how special I am to Him.  He is the most patient and kind person I have ever met.  He never condemns me when I make a mistake.  He never laughs at me when I do something stupid.  He never keeps track of the wrong things I do.  He is gentle and kind and simply wonderful.  If you take every good attribute of every great friend in the world - you wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of what a great friend He is.  Oh, and He even gave His life for me - so that my life would be spared.  There is no greater love than this:  that a man give up his life for a friend. 
 
The best thing about God's friendship is that it is available to us all and He wants this friendship more than we do!  He loves us all equally, yet individually.  He knows exactly what I need and exactly what you need from His friendship.  He is completely trustworthy and has a heart of pure gold.  I used to try to keep my friends to myself because I didn't like to share.  God is too good to try to keep to myself though.  I need Him so much and I know that we all need Him just the same.  I hope that you have this friendship with Him too.  If not - He is just a prayer away.  I know He would love to hear from you!

I am humbled and honored and so thankful for my friendship with God.

Psalm 73:25
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My friend, Sally

I have very few friends that are my same age - not sure exactly why.  I have friends quite a bit older than me and friends that are younger.  Sally is a friend that is older than me.  She is old enough to be my mother and she became like a mother to me in many ways.

I met Sally when we lived in the Adirondacks for 6 years.  We moved up to the mountains in 1996 when we bought a beautiful old Victorian house intending to open it as a bed and breakfast.  We had tried to have children, but without success, and so we set out to follow another one of our dreams.  We only lived there for about a year before I got pregnant.  So we had a big old house in need of repair and a baby on the way.  We had started to attend a small church right across the street from our home.  The people in the mountains keep to themselves most of the time, so it was hard making friends.  Scott is much more outgoing than I am and could make acquaintances with people so much easier than I could.  He had actually met Sally and talked to her quite a bit, but I didn't even know her yet.  One day Scott was doing some work in the house and he had the front door open.  There was dust coming out the door and he had started a pile of garbage on the front porch.  A truck pulled into our driveway and out came on older couple - it was Sally & her husband Frank.  They told us that they were driving by and it looked like we could use some help.  They proceeded to pile the garbage in their truck to take it to the dump and then they stayed and helped us with the work.  It was such a pleasant surprise and they were such kind and friendly people that we immediately became friends.

Sally and Frank became our closest friends while we lived in New York.  They pretty much adopted us into their family and treated us like their own children.  When Cathryn was born they watched our dog.  After Jarrod was born there was a knock on the door one day and when we answered it in came Sally with a group of ladies from the church and they gave me a surprise baby shower.  When I was pregnant with Sarah she had a baby shower for me at one of the local restaurants.  She watched the kids when I needed her to.  She gave me advice on being a mother and a wife.  She listened to my life's stories and she shared hers with me.   She would make sure that we always celebrated our birthdays with them.  She helped me plan Scott's 30th surprise birthday party.  I remember one birthday when Sally showed up with a flat of pansies and a cake on my birthday.  It was such a simple thing, but it made me cry because it made me feel so special.

I love Sally because she has a heart of pure gold.  She would do anything for me and she was like that with so many people in her life.  She doesn't think she is that special - which makes her even better :)  I honestly don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful friend like Sally.  I don't know how I would have survived those early mothering years without her.  I was so sad to leave her when we moved back to Pennsylvania and I still miss being able to share life with her.  I miss sitting in her living room and talking and laughing (she has an awesome dry sense of humor that puts me in stitches.)  When we moved back I called Sally constantly.  I wanted to share everything with her.  Each time we moved to a new place Sally made a point to come visit and see our new home.  Sally & Frank are getting older and so it is harder for them to travel much anymore because of some physical conditions.  We go up and see them usually once a year and every time we do it feels like home to me.  I don't talk to Sally as often anymore, but she is always in my heart and thoughts.  When we do talk it is warm and comfortable and I can tell her anything.   As I am writing this blog I have a tissue close at hand.  Sally is such a precious friend to me and today I am so grateful for my friend, Sally.

My friends, Bien and Teresa

It is Tuesday morning and I was supposed to get together with my friends, Bien & Teresa, but my daughter stayed home sick from school today so I wasn't able to join them. 

Bien & Teresa are two separate people (of course:) - but when I see them it is often together. 

Bien is a lively, strong woman with 2 lively, strong children - a teenage son and a 4 year old daughter.  She loves to cook and is currently going to college for nursing.  I met Bien through a small group I was attending at my previous church.   I like Bien because she is open and honest - she says what she thinks and doesn't try to make it sound "nice" all the time.  She has had quite a bumpy ride in life, but she has risen above it and stayed positive and strong.  When I'm with Bien we laugh a lot - more of the ironic laugh than the ha-ha funny laugh.  She is not an idealist like I tend to be - so it keeps me focused on the fact that it's OK that life is not perfect.  I need to be reminded of that pretty regularly.

Teresa is a quieter, yet strong woman.  She doesn't have any children - yet ;-)  She is sweet and kind and seems to always be trying to help others in some way.  She is a nurse also, and is going for her Master's right not.  Teresa and I met at a Bible Study we were taking together at the church we both used to go to.  We went out for a walk one warm day after the Bible study and just walked and talked for about an hour.  We've been friends ever since.  I like her because she can be very sweet, yet have a strong opinion about things all at the same time.  Teresa also had some rough spots in her past and she has stayed strong and positive despite the struggles.  Teresa helps me to remember to be kind and upbeat even when things don't look so good.  I also need to be reminded of this regularly.

When Bien & Teresa are together they like to compare notes on clinicals and classes.  They have a nursing language that I don't always follow - but it's fun to listen to them talk about their experiences and issues.  Our conversations together normally have to do with general life experiences and how we process what it is all about.  We talk about our marriages, our families, our past, our hopes for the future and how we can see God working through it all.  We each have completely separate and different lives - different church experiences, different upbringings and often different points of view.  If you put us all together in a line up you probably wouldn't pick us out as the most likely to be friends because we each appear to be so different.  When I am with Bien and Teresa it is comfortable and fun.  We don't have to pretend to be something we are not and we can talk about any issue we choose - even the less delicate ones - because we're all OK with the messier topics that some people shy away from.  Bien and Teresa are newer friends and so we don't have a long history together, but because we are good friends it feels like we have known each other much longer.

 I think that's why I like friendship so much because it doesn't have to make sense to work.  The only thing that you have to have in common is that you like each other for who you are and that you can talk about most anything without feeling uncomfortable.  I am amazed when I really consider how many truly great friends I have.  It is such a blessing - really it is!  I'm so grateful for all of my friends and today I thank God for my friends, Bien & Teresa - even though I didn't get to see them :-(

My Friend, Mary

I thought I would take some time this week and tell you about some of my friends - how I met them and why they hold such a special place in my heart.  I think that one of the most important things in our lives is our friends.  Sometimes we just need to be reminded how blessed we are to have wonderful friends.  By friend, I mean someone very near and dear to my heart, someone I can trust with my deepest and most personal dreams and disappointments, someone I can just be myself around, someone who I don't have to see or talk to all the time to remain close with - a kindred spirit.

So I think I'll start with Mary.  Mary is probably the friend that I've had the longest.  We met in college - we were actually roommates.  Mary is a "glass half full" kind of girl - always upbeat, positive and friendly.  She could be friends with almost anyone and she always has had a ton more friends than I do.  I wish I could be a little bit more like Mary - not so reserved and careful about people.  Anyway, we met at college and we shared  a lot through the short time we lived together.  She was planning to be a missionary (which she now is in South Africa) and she was dating Brad (who she is now married to.)   She used to go out when it was pouring down rain and jump in puddles all over campus with some of her friends and never once did I join her - what craziness :)  We were both in the college choir and we traveled together for some of the musical productions.  Mary and I - no lie - used to walk around holding hands sometimes (I know that may sound a little weird to you) - because we were just that comfortable with each other.  It was like we were two little girls.  Yes, we did get some looks, but who cares.  Mary and I could sit in the room and talk about life - our families, friends, classes, activities, boys, whatever.  On a clear warm night we would lay on the top of a picnic table looking up at the stars and just talk about whatever came to mind.  We didn't just cover the superficial topics - we opened up and really shared who we were with each other (the good, the bad, the ugly.)  Even though Mary and I had many other friends at college - Mary was my comfortable friend, the one I could always count on when I needed her.  She is the only friend from college that I have stayed close with almost 20 years later.  I know that she has many friends she still keeps in touch with from college because that's just who she is and that's wonderful and is probably the reason that we have stayed close as well.

Now Mary & Brad live across the ocean from me in South Africa.  I just re-connected with her on Facebook and I get to see her kids growing up and hear about her day to day activities.  We don't even chat that much - but our friendship is still as strong as ever.  Each time that Mary comes home on furlough from the mission field we have gotten together and each time it seems like just yesterday that we saw each other, even though it's been years.  I don't have to hide anything from Mary - and she doesn't have to hide anything from me.  We can share our thoughts and opinions, our dreams and disappointments.  We have a deep, abiding friendship.  Mary is a dear friend and a gift from God.  I am so thankful for my friend, Mary!

Free!

I have been struggling with the desire for freedom lately.  Freedom from past regrets and failures.  Freedom from the hurts done to me by others.  Freedom from the constant question box that my brain enjoys keeping full.  Freedom from trying to be perfect.  Freedom from fear.  Freedom from it all - all the stuff that holds me back, holds me down.

Jesus told us that He came to give us life and life to the full.  He also said "you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."  So I KNOW that we are supposed to be free, we are supposed to fly like the eagle.  I want that freedom He promised us.  I don't want to live without it anymore.

So each day I am choosing to be free - to not carry all the burdens along on my journey that have been weighing me down for so long.   I choose not to be afraid when fear comes knocking.  I choose not to relive the past regrets and hurts that try to crawl into my bed with me at night.  I choose to reject the proposals that perfection keeps dropping in my mailbox and accept that I am just human.  I choose to learn how to rest on the soft comfortable bed of God's mercy and wrap myself in the blanket of His grace and just rest.   I choose freedom.  He offers it to us all.

Isaiah 55:1

 “Come, all you who are thirsty,
   come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
   come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
   without money and without cost.