Christmas Craziness

I often wonder about the holidays.  People just seem to go crazy at Christmas time.  If it's not the decorations and the presents, its the activities or the baking.  All of a sudden it is imperative that the houses all twinkle with lights and that the house is filled with hidden gifts and containers of cookies.  I'm not saying that any of this is bad.  I actually enjoy much of it.  I just wonder as to the reasoning behind it.

Are we trying to make up for the rest of a fairly boring year by going frantic to have a near perfect holiday?  Is it because we don't want to appear 'scroogish' by keeping things simple?  Is it because it is simply tradition or something we feel expected to do?  I don't know, I'm just guessing.  Churches do it - special services, special dinners, extra activities.  Schools do it - concerts, parties, special projects.  Stores for sure do it - lowest prices of the year, free shipping, extended hours.  What is it about the holidays that almost seems to demand that we go all out to make everything perfect?

Like I said, I really don't know.  I do know that most of it really misses the point of what Christmas is though.  Christmas is simply the celebration of Jesus' birth.  It is remembering that many years ago, God's son gave up His perfect existence in heaven to be born to a simple girl, named Mary, in a dirty, stinky stable in a little town named Bethlehem.  He did it because He wanted to come to live like one of us - so He could understand what we go through in this thing called life.  He did it because He wanted to become good friends with 12 pretty rough, uncultured guys and try to help them understand things about God that people had completely missed.  He did it because He knew that He had to be the perfect sacrifice for sin.  He did it because He loves us so much, that He was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that we could be in perfect relationship with Him forever.  He did it so that He could leave us with the Holy Spirit to comfort us, counsel us and keep us until the day He comes to take us Home.  That's the true beauty of Christmas - who Jesus came to be for each one of us.

I like the Christmas lights at Christmas.  They are beautiful and calming somehow.  I remember when I see them that Jesus is the light of the world.  I like the presents at Christmas - I especially like picking out special gifts for people.  I remember the three wise men who brought their precious gifts to Jesus.  I like all the music at Christmas.  I love to hear all the festive songs.  I remember the Heavenly Hosts that appeared to the Shepherds - how awesome that must have sounded!  "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” 

There is something very special about Christmas that really is unexplainable.  It's almost like God stirs up something so wonderful in our hearts that we just have to do something about it.  Decorate, buy gifts, bake cookies, sing songs, anything to express the wonder of what we are feeling.  It's like He is gently reminding us of His deep, unfailing love for each of us.

My prayer this Christmas is that we exchange the craziness for worship and wonder over all that Christmas really is.  I pray that His love for us is the first thing that comes to our mind when we think of Christmas day.  I pray that we share His love as the most precious gift we have to give this Christmas and that we shine His light through our life as we go about shopping, baking and decorating for this truly wonderful season.

Ba Humbug!

OK - so not the most uplifting phrase at Christmas time, but it does reflect the feelings of quite a few people during the holidays.  We usually think of them as 'downers' or people who just hate seeing people happy.  I've heard a phrase that has really helped me deal with negative people (including myself at times :) the phrase says "Hurt people, hurt people."  It is such a simple, but profound truth.  These Ba Humbuggers are hurt people who carry around a lot of pain and anger at things that have happened to them in their lives.  It does upset them to see people happy, because it reminds them that they are not - and that hurts.

When I am having a particularly hard day and feeling Ba Humbuggy, little Miss Susie Sunshine in her rose-colored glasses is the last person I want to see or hear from.  "Isn't life wonderful!"  "Let's decorate & make Christmas Cookies!"  No Thanks!  Give me a box of tissues and a quiet room, please.

I wish people could understand this a bit more, no a LOT more.  People hurt.  They have a lot of reasons to hurt - more than we probably even dare to know.  They are not just 'negative' or 'party-poopers' - something is really hurting them and the constant "It's the most wonderful time of the year" prattle just intensifies their pain.  They just want someone to see past their brusk exterior and take the time to listen to their hurting hearts.  After all, isn't that why Jesus came - you know the guy who's Birthday we are celebrating at Christmas?

Christmas is not an easy time of the year for many people.  Christmas is often not an easy time of the year for  me.  Maybe that's why I know this stuff so well.  Maybe that's why I see all the people who are hurting - because I identify with the deep sadness I see in their eyes.  I wish for Christmas that I could take all that sadness and pain away from them, but I know I can't.  But - I can listen.  I can care.  I can share a little of the love that Jesus has lavished on me.  I can offer them hope, peace & joy - all the things that Christmas is really about.

^{Isaiah 61
1} The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   . . . to comfort all who mourn,
 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair. 

Too Much

The son is overwhelmed by his Father's unconditional love and questions whether he deserves it.  Is it too much?

TOO MUCH

Father, I don't deserve this
My brother is right - I should be shunned.
Is there room in the servants quarters?
I'll stay there - it is good enough.

You don't know what I've said,
Where I've been, What I've done.
I am not good enough to come into your home.
I don't deserve this, it is too much.

I am not worthy,  not even close.
I have disgraced you, even cursed you.
I walked away from you.  I left you.
You don't know, my mistakes are many.

Father, you are too good and I am nothing.
I don't deserve this lavish love.
I don't deserve your forgiveness.
I don't know if I can accept it,
But I will.

Party in the House

When his son came home, the Father called for a PARTY!!!  God loves it when one of his children returns home.

PARTY IN THE HOUSE

There's a party in the Father's House.
My son has come home!  He's here!
Break out the best china.  Invite the clan.
Prepare the best of the best, 'cause  he's here!

Turn up the music!  Pour the wine!
Put on the best clothes you own.
We're pulling out all the stops, 'cause he's here!
My son is home!  He's here!

There will be dancing and singing.
The roof will shake.  The neighbors will talk.
But I don't care, 'cause he's here!
I'm over-joyed!  He's here!

I love my son.  I've missed him so much.
No words could describe my grief.
But now my tears have turned to laughter.
My grief has turned to joy, 'cause he's here!

My son is home!  He's here!

Luke 15:10

" . . . that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God."

The Prodigal Father Responds With Open Arms

As the child returns home - the Father greets him with open arms and unconditional love & acceptance.

OPEN ARMS

Child you've come!  You've finally come!
Here I am, waiting still.
I love you so much - more than you know.
Come into my arms,
I love you!

Open arms.  Open arms.  Open arms of love.
No condemnation.  No disappointment.
Only celebration and tears of joy.
I don't care where you've been, child -
I'm just glad you are here!

Open arms.  Come into my open arms.
Don't try to hide your dirtiness - just come!
Don't hesitate and wonder what I think - just come.
Don't wait another second - just come.

I am running to you, child, with open arms.
I've seen you coming from far away.
I will stop at nothing to embrace you,
To pull you tight and tell you I love you!
I'm so glad you are here.

The Child's Response to the Prodigal Father

The next verse is a response to the Father's plea for the child to come Home.  The child has a hard time accepting the Father's unconditional love and questions the Father's heart, just like we all do so many times, but finally chooses to trust.

I DON'T KNOW

Lord, are you real?  God, do you care?
Don't you see me struggling all alone?
Can I trust you?  Do you really care?
I don't know.  I don't know!

Life is full of messages - too many to count.
They all sound good, they could be true.
Do I believe them?  Do I trust you?
What should I do?  I don't know!

I've tried so many things - some good, some bad.
None of them change me.  None of them save me.
I still feel hopeless, lost, alone.
Are you the answer?  Dare I hope?

I don't know, Lord, but I'm choosing to hope.
I'm going to trust.  I will believe!
I choose your way.  I choose your truth.
I give my life to you.

Now I know!  I know it's true!
I feel it deep inside of me.  I feel light.
I feel free!  What just happened?
I know now, Lord.  You are real!

The Prodigal Father

I have heard it said that the story in the Bible that most people call the Prodigal Son should be called the Prodigal Father because Prodigal means extravagant.  I like that spin on the story.  A few years ago I wrote a series of verses based on the story of the Prodigal Father.  I wrote it as a dialogue between God and His wayward child.  It starts off with God's plea for his child to return home to His loving embrace.  I have come to know this tender, vulnerable God who loves us more than we can ever imagine.  It breaks my heart to see people who still don't understand how much He loves us.  I believe He sings a similar song to all who still don't understand His extravagant love.

I AM HERE

I feel sorrow as I watch you struggling,

Facing life all on your own.

I've been calling, waiting for you to come to me,

But still you walk away, you walk away.

Can you hear me?  Can you see me?

Do you know that I am real, I am here?

I see my beautiful child wandering all alone,

Again I call.  I speak your name.

Do you hear me?  Do you see me?

I am here child.  I am here.

Do you hear me in the thunder? 

Do you feel me in the rain?

I am here.

I have loved you with an everlasting love.

I sing over you with gentle words of grace.

I have been waiting all your life for you to come to me,

I am here child - waiting,

I will never turn away. 

I am Here.

Life through a lens

I love words.  I'm good with words.  But sometimes words just aren't enough.  I've gone through some of my photos and I just wanted to share what they have to say about how I see the world.

Home.  Established.  Consistent.  Acceptance.

Old.  Gnarled.  Resting.  Quiet.

Deep.  Cool.  Reflective.  Peaceful.

Soft.  Sweet.  Innocent.  New.

Sturdy.  Useful.  Dependable.  Worn.

Labor.  Heat.  Simple. Steady. 

Pure.  Tender.  Sacrifice.  Savior.

Ben's Song

This is dedicated to a very special young man that I never had the opportunity to meet.  He passed into Heaven on May 7, 2009 at the age of 24 and I have met many people who have been touched by his joyful spirit.  His family was amazed when over 1300 people came to his funeral service.  I met one lady in particular who never understood God's love until she realized that God loves unconditionally, just like Ben had loved her.   His testimony has greatly impacted my life as well.  I shared this song in Church this past Sunday as a way of honoring his life.  I hope that you are blessed by the words God gave me to write about this loving young man.

Ben’s Song

Little boy in grown man’s shoes,

Never that spark of wonder did lose.

Living and laughing and loving so much,

So quick to give a caring touch.

Little boy with a grown man’s smile,

You shared with us the laughter of a child.

You couldn’t help but love everyone,

Not just a little, but a great big ton!

Little boy with grown man hands,

Building castles in the sand.

Having fun like little boys do,

Yet knowing you’re a grown man too.

Little boy in a grown man’s shell,

It didn’t always go so well,

But with love and tender care,

The life you lived was pure and rare.

Little boy with grown man’s years,

You knew the God who always hears.

He loved you and you loved Him well,

And of His love, your life did tell.

Little boy with a grown man’s legacy,

Bringing those to Him who couldn’t see.

But through the love of a little boy,

Their lives were filled with eternal joy!

(If you want to know more about his story you can visit www.heyiknowyou.org.  His parents started the Ben Yorgey Foundation to help other special education students in our area as they start their postgraduate lives.)

Today I was Born

Today I was born.  I didn't ask to be born.  I wasn't ready to be born.  Yet, I was born.

I didn't get to choose my mother, my father or my siblings.  I didn't get to choose the color or texture of my hair.  I didn't get to pick the color of my eyes or the lightness of my skin.  I came with blue eyes, curly brown hair and fair skin.

Today I was born.  I don't remember being born.  I don't remember being held.  I don't know if I cried or was quiet.  I don't know if I was beautiful or shriveled.  I just know that I arrived.

I came into this world with nothing.  I have no clothes or shoes.  I have no money of my own.  I am penniless and naked and completely dependent on whoever will take care of me.  I have no expectations.  I have no hopes or dreams.  I  know only how to breathe, eat and sleep.

Today I was born.  I have no idea what my life will hold.  If I will be loved and cherished or used and mistreated.  I don't know if I will have good friends, a nice home, a husband or a family of my own.  I don't know if I will get good grades in school, love to sing or have a dry sense of humor.  I just know that I am here.

I am tiny and frail.  I am hungry and needy.  I want only to be held, fed and loved.  My heart beats for these simple things.

Today I was born.  May 6, 1969.  I look back and ponder my birth.  I have lived with a lot of sorrow and regret.  I have had joy and laughter too.  I wish I could re-live some moments and completely banish others.  I don't yet understand my life like I want to.  I just know that I was born and that I now live.

I have hopes and dreams.  I have strengths and weaknesses.  I have accomplishments and failures.  I am who I have become over these past 42 years.

Today I am alive.  I breathe, eat and sleep.  I see my curly brown hair & blue eyes.  I know that I love singing and am a deep thinker.  I love me and dislike me.  I am learning to accept me as I am.

I will trust God to take care of me.  I know that He has been for all these years.  He knows everything about me up to this point and until my final breath.  He knows more about me than I know about myself.  So I will trust Him.

Today I was born.  May 6, 1969.  Today I am alive.  May 6, 2011.  Today I will live and continue to become who I was always meant to be.

Left-over smiles

This is a poem that I wrote a few years ago.  It must have been something I was feeling at the time and needed to process.  As the last of 8 children in my family, I think I've always felt a little invisible - like an after thought somehow.  I know that I am not the only one with these feelings.  So many people have them.  I hope that this poem blesses you today.

Left-Over Smiles

Have you ever received a left-over smile,
One meant for someone else then just held over for awhile?
Has someone every waved at you then quickly stopped
Because you weren't the good friend they had thought?

Have you ever felt invisible, unsought & unseen
Like the last kid picked to play on the team?
What would it matter if you weren't even there -
Would anyone notice?  Would anyone care?

You know what it's like to feel abandoned, alone.
You've felt the sting of rejection - it cut to the bone.
But you weren't all alone - it was a big lie.
For if you weren't important then why did He die?

Jesus, God's only son, left heaven to come to earth -
Heaven's darling come to us through a virgin birth.
He was born in a dirty stable in the town of Bethlehem,
The reason that He came was to die to save all men.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son;
For God so loved you - you are His precious one.
You are important and you are cherished.
If you simply believe this, you will never perish.

You will never look at Him and see a left-over smile.
His gaze is fixed on you.  You are His precious child.
So when people around you don't seem to notice or care,
Remember your Father, who adores you, is always right there.

Life sucks and then you die . . .

What an encouraging phrase: "Life sucks and then you die."  Do you believe this?  No, of course not - it's so negative, right?  Well I have to be honest with you.  Sometimes I have to fight against believing this. Life does sometimes feel quite "sucky."  Sometimes it feels like one hard issue after another that we are dealing with or maybe it's one ongoing life-long struggle.  It's hard.  It's not fun.  Life is certainly not a bowl of cherries.  We seem to catch a break one day and then the next - wam! - we're blindsided by an unexpected problem.  So how do we not believe that life sucks and then you die on those depressing days when it feels so true?  Well how do you fight against any lie? - with the truth.  The only truth that I know I've found in the pages of my Bible.  So I flip through it pages that have been stored in my mind over my lifetime and I repeat the truths to myself.  "I have come to give you life and life abundant" Jesus said.  "I know the plans I have for you - plans to prosper and not to harm you" the Lord declares.  "In this world you will have trouble, but don't be afraid because I have overcome the world." Jesus tells us.  Paul tells us that "All things work out for our good if we love the Lord."  I hang on to those truths like a cat hanging onto a log as it is getting washed down stream.  I am not letting go - no matter what!

Life is hard - yes that's true, but it does not suck!  Your physical body will die - that is also true, but we have eternal Life if we know the Lord!  Today I am struggling with something pretty tough for me and my temptation is to believe the lie, but I refuse because it's simply not true.

So my simple thought for the day is this.  No matter how bad life looks through our eyes today - God has a plan & a purpose for our Good in all of it.  We just need to rest in that truth, regardless of how it feels. 

Hanging on to my log with all claws dug in . . . hopefully the "ride" is over soon.

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. "

Romans 8:28 (The Message) ^26-28

The Widow's Mite

There's a story in the Bible about the poor widow who gave her last few mites (cents) at the temple.  Jesus, as usual, had a very different perspective of what she was giving.  This is a poem I wrote when thinking about that story. 

The Widow's Mite

I don't have much to give,
Not enough to even live.
Others I see have so much;
Houses, land, clothing & such

You're asking me to give it all,
But two mites just seems so small.
Yet here I come with mites in hand,
I bring it now - then stop and stand.

I look around at those giving more,
I turn around and head for the door.
My mites don't matter, I'll just go,
But as I turn to leave, You said No.

Turn around child and take it back,
They give from their wealth, you give from your lack.
When you give your mites, you give your all.
To me what they give looks very, very small.

So go back child, drop in your mites,
For what you give me is great in my sight.
I will take what is small and make it great,
Now humbly walk front & drop it in the plate.

Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, "The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all!"    Luke 21:1-4 

Is it really spring?

I live in Eastern Pennsylvania and this year Spring is being very shy.  It seems to poke it's head up for a day or two and then vanish.  Maybe it is teasing us or maybe it is just shy.  I've enjoyed watching the flowers poke up through the ground.  I have some baby daffodils blooming in my front flower garden that seem to be laughing at the cold.  "We don't care if it is freezing outside - we are still here and that means it is spring!"  Flowers are stubborn that way - they come up when they are supposed to and the winter type weather doesn't seem to deter them at all.  They even were covered in snow just a few days ago.

Nature is funny that way.  Regardless of what our bodies tell us when we walk out the door in the morning - it is freezing cold, it must be winter - the truth is that it is spring.  We can't argue with it when we see the robins flying all around and the flowers pushing up through the ground.  We can deny it all we want - but the truth is evident.  It may be cold, but spring is here to stay!

Life is often like this too.  Things have been cold & dead for awhile.  A relationship has been lost, a child has been sick, a job has been difficult - but things begin to change.  New life begins to poke up around us.  God begins to restore that relationship, you see evidence of healing in your child, things begin to change at work - it gets gradually better.  It is spring!  Oh, but sometimes it only lasts a day or two and then the old, cold, dead wintry feeling returns and we think - no it is still winter.  NO!  Look at the evidence.  There is new life and change all around you.  It IS spring.  We are still going to have the cold feeling days that try to trick us into thinking otherwise, but that is not true.  Irregardless of what we feel like, the truth of a new season in life can't be denied.  I know that emotions are very fickle and often change on a dime.  I need to look for the evidence around me to realize the truth.  The little baby daffodils in the front flower garden may not be much, but they wouldn't be there if it wasn't spring.

So, let's put aside what we feel like and just accept the truth.  If we go outside and it feels like winter - who cares.  It is still spring and the warm weather and the beautiful flowers of spring are just around the corner.  If we wake up and we feel like nothing in our life is changing for the better - who cares.  That's not the truth.  The truth is that there is evidence all around us saying otherwise.  Day by day things will grow better & be more beautiful. 

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free!"

Function vs. Title

Day 3 - The wisdom of SpongeBob SquarePants.

Employee of the Month

In this episode SpongeBob is happily going along month after month (26 to be exact) getting the Employee of the Month award.  This if a funny award for several reasons.  The first is that SpongeBob is a very dedicated worker and really has no need of an award to make him give his best.  The second is that there really is no competition for the award each month because the only other employee, Squidward, is a negative slacker who only shows up each day because he wants the money.  However, this all changes one month when Squidward points out to SpongeBob that the award is really bogus and anyone could get this award - even Squidward.  Well, SpongeBob takes this as a challenge and a heated competition begins between the only two employees of the Krusty Krab.  Squidward changes his negative slacker ways and becomes a very dedicated employee for the sole purpose of showing SpongeBob that he is equally capable of earning the coveted Employee of the Month award.  Things get so out of hand between the two that eventually they are striving to be the first one to work the next day.  They both try to outdo each other to get there the earliest by sabotaging each other to wake up late.  Finally they both head off to work at the same exact time and race frantically to be the first employee at  the Krusty Krab that morning.   They both arrive at the same time, the exact time that Mr. Krabs opens the doors. They both rush in and begin working frantically at various tasks, but they do more harm than good in the process.  Then they start trying to make as many Krabby Patties as possible, until their frantic attempt to outdo each other causes the whole restaurant to explode.  Finally, with Krabby Patties falling from the sky they both turn to Mr. Krabs and earnestly ask him who the Employee of the Month is.

I like this episode because it shows us how desperate SpongeBob became to keep a title.  SpongeBob had become so comfortable being Employee of the Month that he just expected to get it month, after month, after month, after month . . . So when his title was challenged he just freaked out.  He couldn't handle not being Employee of the Month - that was his title.  That was his identity.  He changed from being a dedicated employee, naturally, to being a crazy lunatic of an employee that actually caused the destruction of the very thing he loved - his beloved Krusty Krab.  So instead of just doing what he usually did -be an awesome and overly dedicated employee - he completely blew it.

What can I say?  This one gets all of us at some time in our life.  We find something that we are really good at and do well naturally - being a mom, a secretary, a musician, an employee, you fill in the blank.  We want to do it.  We enjoy doing it.  We give our all to do it well because we love to.  At some point we switch this from a function of what we do well to a title of who we are.  I am a good mom.  I am an awesome secretary.  I am a talented musician.  It becomes our identity (our title) rather than just a function.  That's when it becomes tricky.  All of a sudden it feels more like a competition.  Is that woman a better mom than I am?  Is that girl a better secretary?  Is that musician more talented?  It touches a nerve and we react - sometimes frantically - to keep our title.  Well, if I just do this and this and this then I will be the better mom, secretary, musician.  We become insecure in who we are.  The reality is that we haven't changed, just our perspective has.  We actually become worse at what we do, rather than better.  It is no longer natural and easy and something we want to do, but it becomes a hard task and we can't relax and enjoy it anymore (which is really what makes us good at it.)  Eventually, if we can keep up the pace we get so driven in our attempts to be the best mom, secretary, musician or employee that we actually become bad at it.  That's when we've blown it.  We can't make a mistake.  We can't relax.  We can't loose our title - it feels like it will kill us if we do.  We're stuck.  So we need to go back to square one - remember why we are doing what we do.  Why are you a mom - so you can get the "Best Mom Ever" award - or just because you simply love being a mom.  Why are you a secretary - so everyone will kiss your feet when they walk into the office - or just because you enjoy it and taking care of all the details just comes naturally to you.  Why are you a musician - so everyone will sing your praises - or just because you feel alive when you play and sing?  I've learned this the hard way - more than once.   I've learned not to get trapped in the desire for a title.  I've learned to be good at what I do, just because I enjoy it.  That is the only way that we can truly be the best at what we do - by doing it naturally well.

If you are feeling stressed at having to be the best at something in your life - you might want to check out why.  If it something that you used to truly enjoy, then maybe you have made it your title, instead of simply a function that you are good at.  Go back to square one and just relax.  Learn how to simply enjoy it.  It may surprise you how easy it is for you to be good at it without even trying!

Ever been tempted to play "hooky"?

"Hooky"

That is the name of the next SpongeBob SquarePants episode I will share with you this week.

SpongeBob lives in a Pineapple under the sea, right?  So the whole show takes place under water.  At some point there is bound to be a fishing hook that comes into play.  Well, in this episode SpongeBob and Patrick come across these hooks that they consider to be a carnival ride.  They eventually decide this the funnest ride ever.  They grab onto them and as soon as they do, the hook pulls them rapidly upwards.  At just the right moment they leave go and float back down to the bottom of the sea.  They are having a blast, oblivious to the dangers of getting caught on the hook and yanked out of the water by the fishermen.  Well, finally they are warned about the perils of playing "hooky" and are told to never go near the hooks again.  Of course, by this time they are addicted to the thrill of riding the hooks.  They try their best to avoid the temptation, but alas they cannot.  So, unbeknownst to the two dare-devils, a plan is hatched by their friends to cure them of their antics.  SpongeBob is lured by a hook which is actually controlled by Squidward.  His square pants get caught on the hook and he can't get off.  He runs frantically to the Crusty Crab for help.  Mr. Crabs is there as well as his daughter Pearl and her friends who are watching the whole thing.  Eventually SpongeBob has to take off his square pants in front of everyone to escape from the hook.  Everyone laughs at him.  He is mortified and forever cured of playing "hooky."

Have you ever been like SpongeBob - lured by the fun, yet potentially dangerous things around us?  It goes like this:  It looks fun.  It IS fun.  Let's do it again!  At some point it becomes apparent to us that it probably isn't the safest thing for us - but we do it again anyway.  One day though we get hooked and we know that we've gone too far.  We've tried it once too many times and we panic.  We can either keep our mouth shut and get reeled in or we can run screaming for help to our friends or family.  Yes, it may be embarrassing when they learn the naked truth - but at least we will be saved and probably cured of whatever dangerous addiction we have been playing with.

Life according to SpongeBob . . .

I used to think that SpongeBob SquarePants was the stupidest show ever - until I had kids that started to watch it.  I was amazed at the wisdom that show sometimes has.  Yes, some episodes I still find very annoying - but I often find myself surprised at the truths I find hidden in this silly cartoon.  So, this week I am going to do life according to SpongeBob.  Here goes . . .

One of my favorite episodes centers mostly on Squidward.  Now if you remember, Squidward is a very stuck-up sort that finds SpongeBob and Patrick to be extremely immature and annoying.  They are happily oblivious to this and continue to invite him to be their friend and join them on their super fun adventures like bubble-blowing, jelly fishing and using their imagina- a-ations to turn a cardboard box into just about anything (a race car, a rocket ship, you name it.)  So in this particular episode Squidward gets completely fed up with the two simpletons (again) after they have managed to destroy his house with their reef blowing antics.  He decides to move "so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would rather tear out my brain stem, carry it to the middle of the nearest four-way intersection, and skip rope with it than go on living where I do now."  So he moves into a community called Tentacle Acres.  This community is gated and secured from any non-desirables.  Initially Squidward thinks he has died and gone to heaven.  Everyone there is a Squid - just like him.  They all love to do exactly what he does.  They all have the same sarcastic humor that he does.  They all are highly intelligent like he believes he is.  He has a daily schedule that includes all of his favorite activities.  He goes to dance lessons, rides his bike around town, joins a group where he can play his clarinet - scene after scene shows him going to all of his favorite activities day after day with Squids who think and act and laugh just like him.  It is wonderful! - for awhile.  At a certain point you can see his attitude changing about this supposed utopia.  He begins to get frustrated with everyone being just like him and he begins to push the boundaries a bit.  He becomes increasingly frustrated with everyone and everything being the same.  Finally, one day he is out at a nearby park and sees an unattended reef blower.  You can see him contemplating what he would like to do with it.  Finally he grabs the reef blower and begins using it, but then he starts to get creative with it until finally he just goes crazy with it until he is laughing hysterically at the fun he is having.  The other squids become extremely annoyed and aggravated with him and finally form an angry mob to chase him down.  In the last scene of the show you see Squidward being corned by this mob of near-identical squidwards.   SpongeBob and Patrick, who have come to look for Squidward and ask him to move back home are watching this craziness.  They look at each other and SpongeBob says "Well, we know one thing: it sure isn't that guy!"

I think I love this episode because I can identify with Squidward so often.  There are people all around me who just push my buttons.  They don't see life the way I do and they can often be quite aggravating.  They are the SpongeBobs and Patricks in my Squidward world.  I have this place inside of me that dreams of a similar utopia to the one that Squidward went to.  I think that a place where everyone thought and acted and enjoyed the same exact things that I do would be wonderful.  We would all stay up late being creative together and then sleep-in in the mornings, get up and have a leisurely cup of tea.  We would all be laid back and easy-going, seeing life as mysterious and wonderful.  We would all have that dry but hilarious sense of humor that I love.  I could see me going to a music practice with other passionate musicians and constantly talking about deep and inspiring topics.  It would be wonderful! - for awhile.  I think I would get very bored with this at some point though and I would need to push the boundaries a bit and be an individual.  I couldn't stand being just like everyone else - I have to be different, even if it means going against what I would normally do.  I would probably end up being just like Squidward and going a bit insane and being kicked out of my perfect community.

I guess the wisdom for me in this episode is this:  Be content with where you are in life.  Be patient with the SpongeBobs and Patricks in life and maybe even appreciate where they are coming from.  Sometimes the simpler view of life is better.  It doesn't always have to be serious and deep and complicated.  Lighten up and learn to enjoy life.  Stay away from people that are too much like you - they don't help you grow or learn.  They don't stretch you.  They just keep you stuck in your sameness.  Learn how to be a little weird and make people give you funny looks every once in awhile and if you happen to get thrown out of a seemingly perfect community of people consider it a blessing and a new lease on life.  Embrace diversity and learn from all the unique and yes sometimes annoying people who often drive you crazy.  If nothing else, they will teach you patience.

There is a friend . . .

Once someone asked in a Bible Study I was attending if God was our friend.  My immediate reaction was "no."  I had been raised to see God as holy and far above us - which He is.  I hadn't been taught about His kindness and love for us though - so I pretty much thought He was too good to be friends with the likes of me.  I was wrong.  He wanted to be my friend.  He wanted to share all of life with me - just like a good friend would.  Since that time I have become close friends with God and it has been the most important friendship in my life.

God says that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother - that friend is Him!  I know that you might have a different perspective of God than this.  If you were like me, raised to see God as a harsh authority figure - seeing Him as a friend will be a huge stretch.  If you have been raised to think that God may or may not exist - then to consider the reality of His friendship may be almost impossible for you.  I just know that for me - calling God my friend is amazing and wonderful.  I know that I can't see Him or touch Him.  I know that having a friendship with  someone under these circumstances has it's challenges.  I know that I often struggle with knowing how to maintain such a friendship.  I was out on a walk just today discussing this with Him and asking Him to help me with these things.  It isn't always easy, but it is so worth it.

You see, God is my best friend.  He knows everything about me - even things I don't know about myself.  He says that He even knows the number of hairs on my head.  He knew me before I was even born and He has every day of my life written in His journal.  He has been taking care of me since the first day I was conceived and since the first breath I breathed on my own.  He has protected me and kept me safe.  I have come to trust Him with my deepest hurts and strongest desires.  He has counseled me and comforted me when no one else could.  He has loved me even when I didn't care about Him at all.  He loves me even when I am not lovable.  He has been faithful to me.  He has shown me how special I am to Him.  He is the most patient and kind person I have ever met.  He never condemns me when I make a mistake.  He never laughs at me when I do something stupid.  He never keeps track of the wrong things I do.  He is gentle and kind and simply wonderful.  If you take every good attribute of every great friend in the world - you wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of what a great friend He is.  Oh, and He even gave His life for me - so that my life would be spared.  There is no greater love than this:  that a man give up his life for a friend. 
 
The best thing about God's friendship is that it is available to us all and He wants this friendship more than we do!  He loves us all equally, yet individually.  He knows exactly what I need and exactly what you need from His friendship.  He is completely trustworthy and has a heart of pure gold.  I used to try to keep my friends to myself because I didn't like to share.  God is too good to try to keep to myself though.  I need Him so much and I know that we all need Him just the same.  I hope that you have this friendship with Him too.  If not - He is just a prayer away.  I know He would love to hear from you!

I am humbled and honored and so thankful for my friendship with God.

Psalm 73:25
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My friend, Sally

I have very few friends that are my same age - not sure exactly why.  I have friends quite a bit older than me and friends that are younger.  Sally is a friend that is older than me.  She is old enough to be my mother and she became like a mother to me in many ways.

I met Sally when we lived in the Adirondacks for 6 years.  We moved up to the mountains in 1996 when we bought a beautiful old Victorian house intending to open it as a bed and breakfast.  We had tried to have children, but without success, and so we set out to follow another one of our dreams.  We only lived there for about a year before I got pregnant.  So we had a big old house in need of repair and a baby on the way.  We had started to attend a small church right across the street from our home.  The people in the mountains keep to themselves most of the time, so it was hard making friends.  Scott is much more outgoing than I am and could make acquaintances with people so much easier than I could.  He had actually met Sally and talked to her quite a bit, but I didn't even know her yet.  One day Scott was doing some work in the house and he had the front door open.  There was dust coming out the door and he had started a pile of garbage on the front porch.  A truck pulled into our driveway and out came on older couple - it was Sally & her husband Frank.  They told us that they were driving by and it looked like we could use some help.  They proceeded to pile the garbage in their truck to take it to the dump and then they stayed and helped us with the work.  It was such a pleasant surprise and they were such kind and friendly people that we immediately became friends.

Sally and Frank became our closest friends while we lived in New York.  They pretty much adopted us into their family and treated us like their own children.  When Cathryn was born they watched our dog.  After Jarrod was born there was a knock on the door one day and when we answered it in came Sally with a group of ladies from the church and they gave me a surprise baby shower.  When I was pregnant with Sarah she had a baby shower for me at one of the local restaurants.  She watched the kids when I needed her to.  She gave me advice on being a mother and a wife.  She listened to my life's stories and she shared hers with me.   She would make sure that we always celebrated our birthdays with them.  She helped me plan Scott's 30th surprise birthday party.  I remember one birthday when Sally showed up with a flat of pansies and a cake on my birthday.  It was such a simple thing, but it made me cry because it made me feel so special.

I love Sally because she has a heart of pure gold.  She would do anything for me and she was like that with so many people in her life.  She doesn't think she is that special - which makes her even better :)  I honestly don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful friend like Sally.  I don't know how I would have survived those early mothering years without her.  I was so sad to leave her when we moved back to Pennsylvania and I still miss being able to share life with her.  I miss sitting in her living room and talking and laughing (she has an awesome dry sense of humor that puts me in stitches.)  When we moved back I called Sally constantly.  I wanted to share everything with her.  Each time we moved to a new place Sally made a point to come visit and see our new home.  Sally & Frank are getting older and so it is harder for them to travel much anymore because of some physical conditions.  We go up and see them usually once a year and every time we do it feels like home to me.  I don't talk to Sally as often anymore, but she is always in my heart and thoughts.  When we do talk it is warm and comfortable and I can tell her anything.   As I am writing this blog I have a tissue close at hand.  Sally is such a precious friend to me and today I am so grateful for my friend, Sally.

My friends, Bien and Teresa

It is Tuesday morning and I was supposed to get together with my friends, Bien & Teresa, but my daughter stayed home sick from school today so I wasn't able to join them. 

Bien & Teresa are two separate people (of course:) - but when I see them it is often together. 

Bien is a lively, strong woman with 2 lively, strong children - a teenage son and a 4 year old daughter.  She loves to cook and is currently going to college for nursing.  I met Bien through a small group I was attending at my previous church.   I like Bien because she is open and honest - she says what she thinks and doesn't try to make it sound "nice" all the time.  She has had quite a bumpy ride in life, but she has risen above it and stayed positive and strong.  When I'm with Bien we laugh a lot - more of the ironic laugh than the ha-ha funny laugh.  She is not an idealist like I tend to be - so it keeps me focused on the fact that it's OK that life is not perfect.  I need to be reminded of that pretty regularly.

Teresa is a quieter, yet strong woman.  She doesn't have any children - yet ;-)  She is sweet and kind and seems to always be trying to help others in some way.  She is a nurse also, and is going for her Master's right not.  Teresa and I met at a Bible Study we were taking together at the church we both used to go to.  We went out for a walk one warm day after the Bible study and just walked and talked for about an hour.  We've been friends ever since.  I like her because she can be very sweet, yet have a strong opinion about things all at the same time.  Teresa also had some rough spots in her past and she has stayed strong and positive despite the struggles.  Teresa helps me to remember to be kind and upbeat even when things don't look so good.  I also need to be reminded of this regularly.

When Bien & Teresa are together they like to compare notes on clinicals and classes.  They have a nursing language that I don't always follow - but it's fun to listen to them talk about their experiences and issues.  Our conversations together normally have to do with general life experiences and how we process what it is all about.  We talk about our marriages, our families, our past, our hopes for the future and how we can see God working through it all.  We each have completely separate and different lives - different church experiences, different upbringings and often different points of view.  If you put us all together in a line up you probably wouldn't pick us out as the most likely to be friends because we each appear to be so different.  When I am with Bien and Teresa it is comfortable and fun.  We don't have to pretend to be something we are not and we can talk about any issue we choose - even the less delicate ones - because we're all OK with the messier topics that some people shy away from.  Bien and Teresa are newer friends and so we don't have a long history together, but because we are good friends it feels like we have known each other much longer.

 I think that's why I like friendship so much because it doesn't have to make sense to work.  The only thing that you have to have in common is that you like each other for who you are and that you can talk about most anything without feeling uncomfortable.  I am amazed when I really consider how many truly great friends I have.  It is such a blessing - really it is!  I'm so grateful for all of my friends and today I thank God for my friends, Bien & Teresa - even though I didn't get to see them :-(

My Friend, Mary

I thought I would take some time this week and tell you about some of my friends - how I met them and why they hold such a special place in my heart.  I think that one of the most important things in our lives is our friends.  Sometimes we just need to be reminded how blessed we are to have wonderful friends.  By friend, I mean someone very near and dear to my heart, someone I can trust with my deepest and most personal dreams and disappointments, someone I can just be myself around, someone who I don't have to see or talk to all the time to remain close with - a kindred spirit.

So I think I'll start with Mary.  Mary is probably the friend that I've had the longest.  We met in college - we were actually roommates.  Mary is a "glass half full" kind of girl - always upbeat, positive and friendly.  She could be friends with almost anyone and she always has had a ton more friends than I do.  I wish I could be a little bit more like Mary - not so reserved and careful about people.  Anyway, we met at college and we shared  a lot through the short time we lived together.  She was planning to be a missionary (which she now is in South Africa) and she was dating Brad (who she is now married to.)   She used to go out when it was pouring down rain and jump in puddles all over campus with some of her friends and never once did I join her - what craziness :)  We were both in the college choir and we traveled together for some of the musical productions.  Mary and I - no lie - used to walk around holding hands sometimes (I know that may sound a little weird to you) - because we were just that comfortable with each other.  It was like we were two little girls.  Yes, we did get some looks, but who cares.  Mary and I could sit in the room and talk about life - our families, friends, classes, activities, boys, whatever.  On a clear warm night we would lay on the top of a picnic table looking up at the stars and just talk about whatever came to mind.  We didn't just cover the superficial topics - we opened up and really shared who we were with each other (the good, the bad, the ugly.)  Even though Mary and I had many other friends at college - Mary was my comfortable friend, the one I could always count on when I needed her.  She is the only friend from college that I have stayed close with almost 20 years later.  I know that she has many friends she still keeps in touch with from college because that's just who she is and that's wonderful and is probably the reason that we have stayed close as well.

Now Mary & Brad live across the ocean from me in South Africa.  I just re-connected with her on Facebook and I get to see her kids growing up and hear about her day to day activities.  We don't even chat that much - but our friendship is still as strong as ever.  Each time that Mary comes home on furlough from the mission field we have gotten together and each time it seems like just yesterday that we saw each other, even though it's been years.  I don't have to hide anything from Mary - and she doesn't have to hide anything from me.  We can share our thoughts and opinions, our dreams and disappointments.  We have a deep, abiding friendship.  Mary is a dear friend and a gift from God.  I am so thankful for my friend, Mary!

Free!

I have been struggling with the desire for freedom lately.  Freedom from past regrets and failures.  Freedom from the hurts done to me by others.  Freedom from the constant question box that my brain enjoys keeping full.  Freedom from trying to be perfect.  Freedom from fear.  Freedom from it all - all the stuff that holds me back, holds me down.

Jesus told us that He came to give us life and life to the full.  He also said "you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."  So I KNOW that we are supposed to be free, we are supposed to fly like the eagle.  I want that freedom He promised us.  I don't want to live without it anymore.

So each day I am choosing to be free - to not carry all the burdens along on my journey that have been weighing me down for so long.   I choose not to be afraid when fear comes knocking.  I choose not to relive the past regrets and hurts that try to crawl into my bed with me at night.  I choose to reject the proposals that perfection keeps dropping in my mailbox and accept that I am just human.  I choose to learn how to rest on the soft comfortable bed of God's mercy and wrap myself in the blanket of His grace and just rest.   I choose freedom.  He offers it to us all.

Isaiah 55:1

 “Come, all you who are thirsty,
   come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
   come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
   without money and without cost.

"God is good" is an understatement

I know that I've heard it said that "God is good all the time and all the time God is good."  It is great to be reminded of this truth - but sometimes when I hear it, it sounds more like "God is not a big meanie, I need to convince myself that He is an OK guy."  I think that we've been so brainwashed to believe that God is out to bonk us on the head whenever he catches us doing something wrong, that we have to convince ourselves that he is actually nice and that he wants to help us.

I don't know about you, but I want to go far beyond saying that He is just good.  When I hear that phrase I want to jump up and down and shout God is awesome!  He is unbelievable!  He has great things in store for my life - beyond anything that I can even imagine!  I want to let people know that He is not just a "nice guy" - He is God above all Gods and Lord above all Lords and He is able to bless our socks off, if we trust Him with our lives.  He is definitely not a big meanie and He is more than OK.  He is good.  He is so so good.  He is far above and beyond good though - words can't even begin to describe how wonderful He is.

So the next time you hear that God is good - believe that He is, but also believe that He is not just good - He is Incredible, Awesome, Perfect, Powerful, All-Knowing, All-loving, All-sufficient, Unbelievable, Wonderful, Terrific, Extraordinary, Fantastic, Invincible and so SO MUCH MORE.

Beautiful Sunset

We were just out for a drive tonight and I was surprised and delighted by the beautiful sunset.  The colors were so vibrant.  The pinks were beyond pink and the purples were beyond purple.  As we were driving we would lose sight of it for a minute or two and each time I caught sight of it again, it was even more beautiful than what I had remembered.  At one point it was directly in front of us and it seemed that if we drove straight ahead, we would actually drive right into it.  Wouldn't that be wonderful to actually be surrounded by the sunset - to spin in circles and all around you were the beautiful colors and rays of the setting sun.  I could only imagine that kind of experience.  I wonder if it will be like that in heaven - surrounded by beauty and vibrant colors and warmth and love.

It's magically delicious!

Frosted Lucky Charms - They're magically delicious.
Frosted Flakes - They're great!
Snap, Crackle, Pop - Rice Krispies.
Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids!

Can you tell I just served breakfast to my children?  It amazes me that these cereal commercial phrases are forever etched in my mind.  I didn't take the class Cereal Advertisements 101 or Commercialism and the Modern Child or How to Memorize Catch Phrases.  I put absolutely no effort into memorizing any of these verbal jingles - but they are embedded in my brain as if I had studied them my whole life.  It probably helps that every Saturday morning as I watched the Smurfs and Scooby-Doo Mysteries that they played these commercials constantly.  It probably helps that they put most of them to music.  It probably helps that I was a young child when I saw them.

They say that when you memorize something as a child, you remember it much better than if you memorize it as an adult.  I believe that is true because most of the things I memorized as a child I can still remember, while things that I memorized last year or last month I've already forgotten.  The things that we believed as children are easier to remember too.  No matter how illogical or wrong they were - it is harder to shake the belief, even as an adult.  For instance - are Frosted Lucky Charms really magically delicious?  I'm pretty sure they're not - but it still feels true to me.  When I see a box of them on the shelf at the grocery store - I am drawn to them (almost magically:)  When I pour them in a bowl and start to eat them, I immediately think "these tasted much better when I was kid" and I vow not to purchase them again.  Yet, they still find their way into my grocery cart on subsequent shopping trips.  It's strange.

I think that when we were children life was more magical and we were more trusting, so we accepted things whether they were true or not.  Things tasted good to us because we believed they would and so they did.  We were innocent and our minds were like a blank page to be written on.  As we grew older, we became more skeptical.  We began to see things as they really were - not what others told us they were.  We got disappointed.  Santa Clause isn't real?  I can't fly like Superman?  This cereal tastes horrible!  People were unkind to us.  Life wasn't turning out like in the movies - happily ever after.  Our innocence and dreams were being taken away by the harsh realities of life.  We had to grow up and leave all of that magic behind.

I don't think it has to stay that way though.  As an adult, it has been my goal to re-capture some of that magic.  To believe in the possibility of things that aren't logical and to dream again of fairy tales and happily ever after.  I know that Lucky Charms aren't really magical and I'm OK with that.  I've learned that it's OK to be disappointed, but it's not OK to always be skeptical.  I've learned that people aren't perfect, but I've also learned that I don't have to be perfect either.  I've learned that there is a lot of loss in life, but I've learned to open up my heart anyway.  I've learned that life is both good and hard,  both wonderful and sad and that if we really learn to embrace it, I would even dare to say it can be magically delicious.

What are the chances?

My husband found a lottery ticket yesterday for the big jackpot - which was up to $101 million.  Someone spent $5 for 5 chances to win the lottery & then lost the ticket.  I just went online to check the numbers (just in case) and found that not one single number matched from yesterday's drawing - out of 25 numbers, not one single number matched.  What are the chances of that?  I know someone can actually figure out the chances and give me some stats, but I'm not interested in stats.  Since I never play the lottery (because I know instinctively that the chances are low to ever win any substantial amount of money) I would have guessed that the chances were high to at least have one of the numbers match, but I was wrong.

Isn't life like that sometimes too?  We have a situation come up and we treat it kind of like the lottery.  We'll try to figure out some solutions to the problem and just guess that because we tried - it will somehow work out.  I took my sick child to the doctor yesterday and I guessed that she was sick enough to be prescribed an antibiotic.  She would take it and get better - problem solved.  Lottery won.  I was wrong.  No antibiotic - just go home, take some medicine & see what happens.  Lottery Lost.  She's still sick today and I'm not sure what to do now.  Ride it out or call the doctor again?  I feel like I should flip a coin to figure it out.  That would at least give me a 50% chance of getting it right.

So how do we know what to do?  There is no manual that I can flip through to figure it out.  That would be nice.  I'd flip to February 17, 2011 and look under Sarah's name and there it says - "today Sarah is sick, she needs antibiotics, call the doctor & he will call in a prescription for you."  Wonderful - I'll do that.  Lottery won!  Too bad - I lost that manual (have you seen it anywhere?)  So I'm left to make a decision with just my mother's intuition (which I would say has about a 60% chance of being right.)

I'm glad that I've learned that life is not a lottery & that I have a source to go to for answers and direction.  I can pray and ask God for direction & wisdom.  I don't just have to guess & wonder about the situations in my life.  My favorite verse is Prov. 3:5&6 - "Trust in God with all your heart and do not depend on your own logic. When you need to know the way, ask Him and He will direct you."  (This is in my own words)  So instead of playing the lottery with my life - I go to the source of life, God himself, and ask Him to help me.  Sometimes it takes longer than I'd like to get the directions, but He has never failed me yet.  So, what are the chances that God will come through for me?  100% - I like those odds!  :) 

Did you ever wonder why?

I didn't exactly have a perfect life.  I saw, heard & experienced a lot of pretty horrible things in my life.  When I was married I parted company with my parents because I needed to in order to survive.  I lived with guilt over that for many years, but as I look back now I can see that it was the right choice even though many people didn't agree with it.  I wonder why though - why did it have to be that way?

As a mother I have no mother to call to ask advice from or a grandfather for my son to spend time with.  I feel very alone in many of the major issues of life & I can't help but wonder why?  I know it sounds like I might be having a pity-party and maybe I am a little bit, but that's not really what's going on.  I just struggle with why?  Why didn't God put me in a different family?  Why don't I have a better foundation for my own family?  Why does it seem like I'm always swimming up-stream?  Why does it seem like I'm fighting for my very life some days?  I wish it could be easier, nicer, better - and so I wonder why it isn't.

Don't get me wrong.  I have wonderful days too - days when I see the good things in my life - my husband, my kids, our home, my friends, God's grace in my life.  I love those days.  I wish for each day to be one of those days, but they aren't.  Why is that?

Well, I think I've come up with some answers to my whys.  I know that this is not a perfect world (duh!) and that there is a lot of dysfunction everywhere - not just in my life.  I know that  I contribute to my own issues because of my stubbornness, my unwillingness to change my bad patterns.  I know that life isn't really supposed to be easy - it's supposed to challenge us, grow us & stretch us.  I know that life is only a small part of our existence - the Bible calls it a vapor (a bit of steam that you see for one second & it's gone the next.)

When I really come down to the answer for my whys, it comes down to this:  God wants to be for me everything that I need.  If I need a father - He wants to be that for me.  If I need a friend - He wants to be that for me.  If I need advice - He wants to counsel me.  If I need a shoulder to cry on - He wants to comfort me.  If I need strength to make it through the day - He wants to provide that for me.  If I need a break - He wants to give me rest.  A favorite verse of mine from the Bible is found in Matthew and it says - "Come unto me all you who are weary and weighed down and I will give you rest."  So, whenever the whys start to overwhelm me and weigh me down - I know where to go to find wisdom and comfort.  He doesn't always answer my whys - but He always gives me rest.