So, I just found out about a week ago that I need to go in for a biopsy to check out an irregularity on my mammogram. I know that tons of women have to go through this in their lifetime and I know that many women I know have already been through one. Some have received good news, but some have not. I am very hopeful that I will be in the first category.
When we go through these types of things in our lives, our belief system is challenged. Not what we say to someone else who may be going through the same thing, but what we say to ourselves. That deep down belief system - the unshakable one. I believe in God. I know He is good (don't I?) I know that He will not give me more than I can handle (but how does he know what my limit is?) So the questions start surfacing and my belief system is put to the test.
I sat in front of a pastor's wife this morning in church who has been going through chemotherapy and radiation for the past 6 months after being diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. She had very fine hair growing back under a cute black hat she was wearing. She walked forward at the end of the service and her husband prayed for her as she sobbed - I'm sure sick and weary from all the treatments and fears she has been enduring these past months. She has a teenage daughter and little 2 year old boy that they adopted. I spoke to her after the service and she had such a vulnerable look in her eyes. I know her belief system is being challenged right now too.
As I talked to her and looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but wondering if I would have the strength to endure what she is going through right now. It all sounds so - - romantic? heroic? - - when the stories are told, but the reality is more - - terrifying, grueling. When you see the Facebook posts, read the blogs or watch the movies, it all seems strangely wonderful. When you are living it, it all seems too hard.
So tomorrow morning I go in for the procedure and then I wait. The nurse told me that if the news is good, I will hear nothing before the appointment day (10 long days later) - but if the news is bad, the doctor will call so I can bring someone with me to help me process what comes next. The doctor told me that it doesn't look like cancer, but they have to do the biopsy to 'prove it.' I'm thankful for that word of encouragement.
I always hesitate to post these very personal things - I am a pretty private person for the most part. I haven't shared this with many people. I just know that sometimes we need to share - sometimes we need other people to know what we are going through - sometimes we need support and prayer. I also know that sometimes others need to hear our stories because they are going through something or have gone through something too and they need to know that they are not alone. So I guess I needed to share for my sake and maybe for yours too.
2 Cor. 1 (Praise to the God of All Comfort)
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Meeting Nick - The Lemonade Maker
Both of my daughters took some track-racing lessons this summer at the local velodrome. I was there twice a day on Mondays and Wednesdays for a few weeks. I saw an older man in a motorized scooter there often. I just assumed he had a grandchild that was also involved in the lessons. He looked a bit 'rough around the edges' and you could tell that life had not been easy on him. I would usually just smile and say a kind word to him in passing. I often offered to let him have a spot in the shade where I had found a reprieve from the hot summer sun, but he usually declined.
One day I said something more than just a kind word. Something that started him talking. It wasn't at all easy to understand him. He had a hard time speaking his words clearly because of his Parkinson's, but for some reason God has gifted me with the ability to understand people that others often can't. I have to listen very closely and sometimes read between the lines, when I miss a word or two. Maybe it's because I just love to hear people's stories and so I am able to give my undivided attention to what they are saying.
So he began talking and sharing his story. He lives at the nursing home close to the velodrome. He doesn't know anyone who is in the biking program, but he wants to get out and frequently visits the track to watch the races. Sometimes he comes out several times a day. He has to cut through a neighbors yard to get there and mentioned that they don't like it very much. He talked about his wife dying on Father's Day of this year. He talked of a son also dying a few months earlier. He shared that he had Parkinson's and just three years prior had to go into the nursing home for care because he no longer could care for himself.
He had pictures in the front basket of his scooter and quickly got them out with his very shaky hands to show them to me. They were mostly pictures of family and the wooden lawn ornaments that he crafted and sold - even still he has someone do the wood work for him and bring the pieces in for him to paint & assemble. He talked about each picture as I looked through them one by one. This man did not let the grass grow under his feet. Even in his physical condition - he is out and about. He refuses to let the circumstances of his life or any shyness over his condition to keep him down.
As I talked with Nick he inspired me. He showed me by his simple stubbornness to not let life weigh him down that life is what we make out of it. You know the old saying - "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Well Nick is definitely a lemonade maker. His stubborn Pennsylvania Dutch heritage has served him well. He probably frustrates the people at the nursing home who are trying to look out for him - I have a feeling he can be quite non-compliant. He noticed when some of his special T-shirts went missing after laundry day and had them track down who was stealing them (yes - someone was actually stealing and selling the T-shirts because they were old car shirts that have some value to them.) He was scolded for taking his scooter across the busy highway just out front of the home, but he wasn't deterred from doing it again. At his age and in his condition, he is still taking risks and pushing the boundaries. I love it!
I really enjoyed getting to hear Nick's story. He led a very full and active life and did many interesting things - like drag racing (back in the day when they had it at Dorney Park) and restoring an old "Woody" car for a friend. I'm so glad that I took the time to stop and listen to him that day. I only hope that if one day I am old and confined to a scooter, I will have the same kind of spunk and stubbornness to be a lemonade maker like Nick.
One day I said something more than just a kind word. Something that started him talking. It wasn't at all easy to understand him. He had a hard time speaking his words clearly because of his Parkinson's, but for some reason God has gifted me with the ability to understand people that others often can't. I have to listen very closely and sometimes read between the lines, when I miss a word or two. Maybe it's because I just love to hear people's stories and so I am able to give my undivided attention to what they are saying.
So he began talking and sharing his story. He lives at the nursing home close to the velodrome. He doesn't know anyone who is in the biking program, but he wants to get out and frequently visits the track to watch the races. Sometimes he comes out several times a day. He has to cut through a neighbors yard to get there and mentioned that they don't like it very much. He talked about his wife dying on Father's Day of this year. He talked of a son also dying a few months earlier. He shared that he had Parkinson's and just three years prior had to go into the nursing home for care because he no longer could care for himself.
He had pictures in the front basket of his scooter and quickly got them out with his very shaky hands to show them to me. They were mostly pictures of family and the wooden lawn ornaments that he crafted and sold - even still he has someone do the wood work for him and bring the pieces in for him to paint & assemble. He talked about each picture as I looked through them one by one. This man did not let the grass grow under his feet. Even in his physical condition - he is out and about. He refuses to let the circumstances of his life or any shyness over his condition to keep him down.
As I talked with Nick he inspired me. He showed me by his simple stubbornness to not let life weigh him down that life is what we make out of it. You know the old saying - "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Well Nick is definitely a lemonade maker. His stubborn Pennsylvania Dutch heritage has served him well. He probably frustrates the people at the nursing home who are trying to look out for him - I have a feeling he can be quite non-compliant. He noticed when some of his special T-shirts went missing after laundry day and had them track down who was stealing them (yes - someone was actually stealing and selling the T-shirts because they were old car shirts that have some value to them.) He was scolded for taking his scooter across the busy highway just out front of the home, but he wasn't deterred from doing it again. At his age and in his condition, he is still taking risks and pushing the boundaries. I love it!
I really enjoyed getting to hear Nick's story. He led a very full and active life and did many interesting things - like drag racing (back in the day when they had it at Dorney Park) and restoring an old "Woody" car for a friend. I'm so glad that I took the time to stop and listen to him that day. I only hope that if one day I am old and confined to a scooter, I will have the same kind of spunk and stubbornness to be a lemonade maker like Nick.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Sarah and Lisa
I met Sarah and Lisa in October of 2010, but it seems like I've known them for many years. I've spent only two days with them in person. Let me tell you the story. . .
I love the book Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. It truly changed my life when I first read it over seven years ago. I've read it at least six times since then and each time it refreshes my belief that life is wonderful and that I am very special and important in this world. A few years after first reading the book, I became aware of a Captivating Retreat that is held each year in Colorado. I, of course, immediately wanted to go on one of these retreats. I finally had the opportunity to attend this retreat in October, 2010. I was so excited to be able to go. I was going on my own - not knowing anyone else who would be attending. I communicated with a few of the ladies over the internet in order to prepare for the retreat and find trasportation to and from the airport. I honestly had no idea what to expect and so I left my heart wide open for whatever the Lord had planned for me during that weekend. I thought that I would be on my own for the whole weekend - just experiencing the beauty of my surroundings and the teaching sessions that were planned for us. However, God had a beautiful surprise planned for me - the surprise of two wonderful ladies that he wanted me to meet.
I got into the retreat on Friday afternoon. I settled into my room and met my roommates, all very nice ladies. We had our first meal, which was exceptionally delicious, and our first meeting that night. After the meeting I went out to the darkest spot that I could find and just stood and looked up at all the stars twinkling in the cool, crisp Colorado sky. It was breathtaking! Then I went and sat in the worship room just trying to take in the awesome opportunity that this retreat was to me and talked with God for awhile. I went back to the cabin alone and got dressed for bed. When I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, I saw a pretty young woman with blonde hair who was also brushing her teeth. We began talking and soon we were sharing our hearts with each other. After we had been talking quite awhile there were some knocks on the wall from our other cabin mates indicating that we were keeping them awake. We reluctantly finished our conversation and went to bed. My new friend, Sarah, made sure that we would meet up for breakfast in the morning and then we both went off to bed.
The next morning Sarah and I met and walked to breakfast together. Sarah saw another new friend of hers, Lisa, and so we all sat together. I honestly don't remember all of the little details surrounding our friendship - I just know that without really planning or worrying about it, the three of us just always sat together for the rest of the weekend at meals and for the meetings. It was such a wonderful blessing to me. We shared things with each other that weekend that some lifelong friends hesitate to share with each other. We were all open to sharing our hearts with each other. So in two days I became close friends with two very special women.
In the year and several months since meeting and connecting deeply with these women, I have never ceased to thank God for their friendship and support in my life. We have supported each other through many struggles - through the internet and over the phone. During a recent several months of a tough struggle in my life, Lisa, has been a constant encouragement to me. She is the friend who sent the Box of Joy that I wrote about in a previous blog. Sarah was just married a few days ago to a wonderful man - whom she is completely and utterly in love with. It has been such a blessing to me to see her wedding pictures posted by friends on Facebook and celebrate her joy across the many miles that separate us.
As I reflect over how God brought these two women into my life in such an unexpected and special way, I am so very grateful for the friendship and love we have for each other. Even though we all live many miles apart, in different states, the bond we share keeps them very close to my heart.
Lisa & Sarah - as you read this I pray that you feel the love I have in my heart for each one of you! You are each such a huge gift from the Father to me and I am so thankful for you and I miss you so much!
I love the book Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. It truly changed my life when I first read it over seven years ago. I've read it at least six times since then and each time it refreshes my belief that life is wonderful and that I am very special and important in this world. A few years after first reading the book, I became aware of a Captivating Retreat that is held each year in Colorado. I, of course, immediately wanted to go on one of these retreats. I finally had the opportunity to attend this retreat in October, 2010. I was so excited to be able to go. I was going on my own - not knowing anyone else who would be attending. I communicated with a few of the ladies over the internet in order to prepare for the retreat and find trasportation to and from the airport. I honestly had no idea what to expect and so I left my heart wide open for whatever the Lord had planned for me during that weekend. I thought that I would be on my own for the whole weekend - just experiencing the beauty of my surroundings and the teaching sessions that were planned for us. However, God had a beautiful surprise planned for me - the surprise of two wonderful ladies that he wanted me to meet.
I got into the retreat on Friday afternoon. I settled into my room and met my roommates, all very nice ladies. We had our first meal, which was exceptionally delicious, and our first meeting that night. After the meeting I went out to the darkest spot that I could find and just stood and looked up at all the stars twinkling in the cool, crisp Colorado sky. It was breathtaking! Then I went and sat in the worship room just trying to take in the awesome opportunity that this retreat was to me and talked with God for awhile. I went back to the cabin alone and got dressed for bed. When I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, I saw a pretty young woman with blonde hair who was also brushing her teeth. We began talking and soon we were sharing our hearts with each other. After we had been talking quite awhile there were some knocks on the wall from our other cabin mates indicating that we were keeping them awake. We reluctantly finished our conversation and went to bed. My new friend, Sarah, made sure that we would meet up for breakfast in the morning and then we both went off to bed.
The next morning Sarah and I met and walked to breakfast together. Sarah saw another new friend of hers, Lisa, and so we all sat together. I honestly don't remember all of the little details surrounding our friendship - I just know that without really planning or worrying about it, the three of us just always sat together for the rest of the weekend at meals and for the meetings. It was such a wonderful blessing to me. We shared things with each other that weekend that some lifelong friends hesitate to share with each other. We were all open to sharing our hearts with each other. So in two days I became close friends with two very special women.
In the year and several months since meeting and connecting deeply with these women, I have never ceased to thank God for their friendship and support in my life. We have supported each other through many struggles - through the internet and over the phone. During a recent several months of a tough struggle in my life, Lisa, has been a constant encouragement to me. She is the friend who sent the Box of Joy that I wrote about in a previous blog. Sarah was just married a few days ago to a wonderful man - whom she is completely and utterly in love with. It has been such a blessing to me to see her wedding pictures posted by friends on Facebook and celebrate her joy across the many miles that separate us.
As I reflect over how God brought these two women into my life in such an unexpected and special way, I am so very grateful for the friendship and love we have for each other. Even though we all live many miles apart, in different states, the bond we share keeps them very close to my heart.
Lisa & Sarah - as you read this I pray that you feel the love I have in my heart for each one of you! You are each such a huge gift from the Father to me and I am so thankful for you and I miss you so much!
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